My Life Consists of Rainbow Memories

I lived in a huge house by myself once my daughters moved out to go to school. Empty nest never bothered me. I took joy in my girls seeking out their plans for their lives and encouraged them always to follow their dreams. Now here I was in a home much too big for me. The upkeep was enormous and yardwork, landscaping were out of control. My bipolar illness had wreaked havoc in my life over the past few years with the manic episodes getting me into financial trouble, and the depressions keeping me a step up from feeling like I was in hell.

I came out of my last depression realizing that I had to sell the house. I was optimistic and joyful that the house would sell, even though it needed a new coat of paint inside. It was a beautiful 2-story brick house and I felt confident. It did sell, and friends and I packed up the entire contents of the home I'd live in for 18 years. During that time I noticed I had a slight limp in my right leg. It didn't bother me, nor did it slow me down. That was August 2006.

The house was sold, I bought a new car, life was good, and I decided to do some traveling. I went up North to visit my family. I spent two weeks with my sister Cheryl and her husband John, one week with my sister Laurie, her son Zachary, her dogs Venus, Lucy, Tia, and Chloe, her cats, Perdita, Dante', Spider, and Bella, her rats, Templeton & Fievel Mousekewitz, and lets not forget her son's skink! Both my sisters wanted me to live with them. I lived alone for several years, which one do you think I'd choose? Well, I also visited my bestest friend in the world Sandy in NH. At that time my daughter who had gone w/her boyfriend to live in RI asked me to stay in the New England area. Sandy and her husband Mick invited me to live w/them. I love NH and I chose to live w/Sandy and Mick.

I loved living in NH w/Sandy, Mick and their son Mike. I was so happy! I did the cooking, and organized the kitchen cabinets. I put a faucet in the bathroom upstairs, and did whatever I could to ease Sandy's day when she came home from work. I loved my days. I found a church where I could worship, and made friends. All this time my "limp" was getting worse and I found I was tripping and falling a lot. Luckily, I didn't break anything. I was going to a chiropractor because I'd always had trouble w/my lower back. I just figured it was connected. When the chiropractor said she couldn't help me anymore, I went to a general practitioner. He gave me a complete physical, sent me for blood tests and referred me to an orthopedic doctor, and had an MRI of my head to rule out MS. The orthopedic doctor got 3 more MRI's and convinced me it was 2, 3 section C vertebre that were bulging on my spinal cord. He scheduled me for surgery in June. I saw a Neurologist in May 2007 and he said "I would cancel the surgery. You have Lou Gehrigs Disease".

"Lou Gehrigs Disease" I was in Shock! I didn't know what it was. He told me I had 2-5 years to live. I cried. I thought about my life, my daughters, the life I wouldn't live, I was very upset. How should I feel? I went home and looked this disease up on the internet. ALS - Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. I was devastated, I did not want this disease, but yet I had it. I questioned God, I didn't mean to. I got to a point where I finally accepted ALS as my life.

It is now March 2008 and I am put to bed, gotten out of bed and put into a power w/c. I can get up from my w/c using the lift mechanism and stand to pivot and use my potty chair. My arms are weak, but I continue to use them. My breathing is shallow, my cough is weak, and my voice has weakened. This is the affect ALS has had on me so far. I still can do a lot, and there is a lot I cannot do. A doctor can give you a death sentence, but he doesn't know if it will apply to you. I have a positive attitude and do the best I can with what I have!